Big Dreams are Happening
I wrote the following post on February 27, 2019. I had B A R E L Y started my fight against cancer, but I had a dream in my heart! This post S T I L L captures my vision and purpose. As I’m still dreaming and working towards figuring out the details, I had to share and give God some glory:
That the tumor DID shrink and was removed with clean margins,
That I’m still NED,
That this cancer DID change me,
That THAT little inkling of a dream is still growing,
That for the first time I’ve had at least one sale every day for 7 days in a row (which means I’m closer to what’s next),
That God keeps giving me clarity for the next step,
That so far I’ve been brave enough to keep taking it, and
That my sister is still the smartest person I know!!!
The original post follows (with a different picture than originally used). This picture is one of the first of my NED status taken during our hospital slumber party after my double mastectomy. It’s one of my favorites!
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“This is my sister, Carol, who is the smartest person I know. 💕
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I can use this cancer to help others, to share God, to be light and about how it might change my life. I was talking to my sister about an idea that seems pretty bold, and I asked her if she thought it was dumb or silly (especially given how early I am in my marathon of treatment).
She immediately said no and reminded me, “They say you can’t go through a life changing experience without it changing your life.” Simple, but profound. I pray that my life will be changed by this cancer. There’s a verse in Ephesians (4:1) where Paul urges us to “live a life worthy of the calling we have received.”
Cancer does stink. I don’t want it. I don’t want anyone I love to have it. I wish I could wake up one morning as if it were never part of my body, but we’re just shy of 70 days beyond the point of learning I have it. It’s too late to wish it away. While I’m praying (as I know you are) the tumor will shrink and disappear, the knowledge of it and fear it won’t go away or could return will always be a part of me now.
So...I have to put on my big girl pants and face it. Some days that feels easier than others and happens earlier in the day than others. Sometimes I try to hide a few extra minutes or hours in bed. BUT, I always land on this...
I know good will come from it, and in some crazy way I’m honored to be the one to see the good up so close! I pray I do it well, and I know doing it well is NOT nor will it ever be doing it perfectly.
My sissy is so right...and I’m waking up today excited to see how cancer will change my life! I’m confident it will be for the better! 😍
Love you all & the inspiration you give me to face it every day.”
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Wow, praise God for the moments and years since that post. As I reflect on the events of the world today and look at the hurt and challenges, as I picture those who have had to face their own cancer following my experience, I cling to hope for the good that may come. I cling to the knowledge that God is still good and is still at work. I cling to better days ahead.
Love first and hope always,
Lulu
Sisters…. June 13, 2019… Post-Double Mastectomy Slumber Party!