Before we begin, there is a very important point to note: Every. Person. Is. Different. While everyone is different and every journey is different, most people want to know (1) they’re not alone and (2) you’re thinking about them. Anything you say along those lines is usually great! You don’t have to say much.

When is a good time to send a card to a loved cancer patient? The quick answer is often and regularly. With any long-term illness, there is so much encouragement that comes from cards in the mail. While everyone is different, I can tell you the names of the people who sent me cards often; whereas, I may or may not be able to tell you the names of those who sent a single card.

As a new cancer patient, the two most frequent questions I received were, “How can I help?” and “What do you need?”. Soon after, the #1 question became “I have a friend who was just diagnosed with cancer. What can I send her?”. I have continued to get this question almost once per week for nearly two years.

In addition to saying the right things and giving in meaningful ways, you may be wondering how do you show up for a friend on a cancer journey in just the right ways. In an effort to capture the most helpful “what to dos” for supporting cancer patients, I’ve listed some ideas in three basic categories: Presence, Talents, Food